Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
