well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My feet surprised me
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