there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
this hospital has no fireball
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
