Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
