Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
