Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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