we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
