Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
