too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
