well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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