Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
