she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize