is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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