Little spoons don't ask big questions
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
