its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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