just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
