If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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