Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
