I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
