love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
