you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
