Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
