Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
