Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
