i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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