You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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