I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Randomize
