I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
