she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
