Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
