Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
