on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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