just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
