I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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