So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
...so i touched it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
