I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
