garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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