i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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