you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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