Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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