I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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