so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
