Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
