biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
