Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
