i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
