guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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