Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I FOUND THE LEGS
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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