I seem to have left my pride at pride
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we're making bets on your personal life
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm bleeding and have questions
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
