He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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