I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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