So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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